Bucket Lists

I feel like I need to post a warning before I start this entry. This is my blog, that is to say it's not the official team blog that will be used this summer while we are in Belgium. Leading up to the trip, I will use this as a means of putting on "paper" some of the things, relating to the trip, that He is bringing to my attention and walking with me as I process. This entry relates to one of those things.

I'm not a big list-maker. I will take one to Target, mainly because I have zero self-control in there, but other than that, I don't like them. Just another thing for me to worry about misplacing. Usually, I keep a running list in my head and that is enough. But recently I was challenged by my good friend Jodi, who now has her very own tag sine God has blessed me with her being such a big part of this experience, to make a singleness bucket list - a list of ten things that God is teaching you and/or things you do (or want to do) with your time that would be really hard/nearly impossible to do when you're married. I'll share mine with y'all and then explain how in the world this relates to Belgium.

1. Tithing and giving money away like it's going out of style. I love supporting my friends on mission and I feel like once I get married, while I know we will continue to give, there will be changes. Some will be changes for the better and some changes that will be hard for me to make. But right now, it's easy for me to give; I don't have to deal with two people's financial backgrounds. Just mine.
2. Taking up new hobbies, like rock climbing. Because my schedule is pretty full, finding time for rock climbing is a challenge. Since I am single, I can go at 9am on a Saturday, 4.30pm on a Monday, or just on a whim when I decide that I need to get lost in my thoughts on the rock wall.
3. Decorating my room just as I want it. No consultation of any other parties necessary.
4. Teaching me to be fully satisfied in Him and Him alone. So often I want to look for satisfaction in creation, not the Creator. Creation is awesome and it reflects Him, but it cannot satisfy us as wholly and completely as He can. It wasn't made to. It may seem easier to look to His stuff and not to Him, but as I have been learning, it's a drug to mask the bigger issue. If you have a stress fracture, Advil will only do so much. If you don't get it treated, shin pain can turn into a complete break of a bone. I am so blessed to have the time and circumstances to be able to sit alone and pray that God be enough, not just in prayer and hope, but in actual day-to-day life. A year ago, I would have balked at the thought of sitting alone in silence at the dinner table with no one home. But now, I look forward to the nights that I can do that. I've started calling it "Holy Family Dinner" where I sit at the dinner table with no music, no TV, no roommate (though I do love living with her), no anything and just eat with the Trinity. 
5. International trips. I've been blessed with the time and means to travel to England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Spain, Morocco, Germany, Belgium, and The Netherlands (though Belgium and The Netherlands were technically a mission trip). The list of countries I still want to visit is pretty long and I have a feeling that international travel may be a little tougher to do when I'm a wife. 
6. Going out (on a school night!) after Bible study to celebrate National Margarita Day with some of your closest friends.
7. Having a job that allows me to walk in the trenches with the athletes that God has called me to serve. This job also requires me to work, for the most part, with no help to take care of 150+ athletes on 10 different athletic teams. I often leave work mentally and physically exhausted. I have a hard enough time maintaining relationships with my friends. While a relationship wouldn't be impossible to have at this phase of life, it would take a lot of work. Knowing me, I would probably feel guilty that I wasn't able to give 100% to both my athletes and my husband. I may desire a husband, but I also have to trust God in His timing. He knows me better than I know myself, anyway.
8. When I cook, I don't have to worry about others. I can make my vegetarian, uber-healthy meals and no one will question what I'm making.
9. When it comes to my free time, I can do as I please. Sermons, books, movies, naps, walks, workouts, studying, whatever I want. 
10. Finally, the one that relates to Belgium. I have the opportunity to leave home for 6-8 weeks during the summer, learning how to lead and facilitate small group discussions as well as growing in my faith with God. This summer I will spend three weeks in Ohio in leadership training and working in the trenches of AIA training camps. Then, I am blessed to have the chance to return to Belgium for another three weeks. While I love the people here in Texas, I am not tied here. I have not stood before God and promised to be joined to my husband in marriage. If God told me to move across the country, across the world, tomorrow, it would be hard but I would go. 

I don't know how many more times God will call me back to serve in Belgium, but right now, I want so badly to go, so if that it means choosing between Belgium or a husband, I choose Belgium. In a perfect world, I would have a husband who could serve with me. But, this is a broken, fallen world. Serving God in Belgium brings me so much joy and as a Christian Hedonist (hey, John Piper), I want to seek God and delight in Him.