As I approach this trip, I find myself leaving Dallas and thinking to the time to come. To be honest, it takes very little to allow myself to slip off the road and into Dreamland. With a to-do list that won't end until the night before I leave, more and more of my thoughts tend to end up in the future. But, that also means that I am spending less and less time here, in Dallas, where the Lord has me presently.
Confession: I am a total control freak. A redeemed, loved, cherished by God control freak who has been changed immeasurably since I started walking with God all those years ago, but a control freak nonetheless. It goes back to my struggle against the lie that I find myself believing more times than I want to that God is not good, that the cross was not enough. It looks ridiculous as I type it, but in the heat of the battle of life, my flesh clouds my judgement and fall for the trick. When it feels like I am not in or losing control, I freak out and start playing God. The most slippery of all the slopes is going off to dream land, thinking about how things will play out (as I call all of the shots) and the series of events to achieve the goal at hand. I don't tend to be outright controlling; I'm much more skilled at behind the scenes things and slowly steering things where I want to go. Sorry if I just smeared any rosy picture of me that you had painted, but you deserve the truth. :)
My prayer for us, the team, is that we are where our feet are. At the moment, that means that we are scattered, planning for Belgium, but not in Belgium. The Lord has called us all to work here and now; we aren't promised Belgium. Yes, support can be in and yes, tickets purchased and yes, lives on hold for four weeks. But we aren't promised tomorrow. And when we are in Belgium, I pray that we are fully there. Our schedule is going to be pretty full, with meets happening at least once a week. I pray that we are not lost in logistics, but loving well in the moment.
Oh, Lord, help us remember our feet!
Confession: I am a total control freak. A redeemed, loved, cherished by God control freak who has been changed immeasurably since I started walking with God all those years ago, but a control freak nonetheless. It goes back to my struggle against the lie that I find myself believing more times than I want to that God is not good, that the cross was not enough. It looks ridiculous as I type it, but in the heat of the battle of life, my flesh clouds my judgement and fall for the trick. When it feels like I am not in or losing control, I freak out and start playing God. The most slippery of all the slopes is going off to dream land, thinking about how things will play out (as I call all of the shots) and the series of events to achieve the goal at hand. I don't tend to be outright controlling; I'm much more skilled at behind the scenes things and slowly steering things where I want to go. Sorry if I just smeared any rosy picture of me that you had painted, but you deserve the truth. :)
My prayer for us, the team, is that we are where our feet are. At the moment, that means that we are scattered, planning for Belgium, but not in Belgium. The Lord has called us all to work here and now; we aren't promised Belgium. Yes, support can be in and yes, tickets purchased and yes, lives on hold for four weeks. But we aren't promised tomorrow. And when we are in Belgium, I pray that we are fully there. Our schedule is going to be pretty full, with meets happening at least once a week. I pray that we are not lost in logistics, but loving well in the moment.
Oh, Lord, help us remember our feet!