Ten points to the first person who can correctly identify who the title of my blog is referring to. The person to whom I am referring can't play. That wouldn't be fair.
Anyway, I've had some trouble deciding on the best way to share all that God has done. I've processed through a lot of it, but since this is the internet, I prayed about what exactly I will share and how much. After much journaling and prayer, I've decided to lead off the post-trip posts with the change that happened to me while in Leuven.
I can say with 100% certainty that I am not the same Rachel that I was four-ish weeks ago. I don't know exactly when the change occurred, or how, I just know that it happened. I feel a lightness, a joy, a childlike approach to life, and a freedom that I didn't feel prior to the trip. I feel like, for the first time, I am resting - truly resting - in the peace of God that comes when you really do trust Him.
I'll use a real-world example to show the change that has happened inside of me. The university that I work for is expanding the number of athletes from 160 to 200. Currently, I am the only certified athletic trainer for our athletic department and our training room is straining to accommodate all of our current athletes. When I left for Belgium, I was told that we would be adding some storage, rearranging the layout of the training room, have a job post up for a new assistant athletic trainer so I could start sifting through resumes while I was overseas, doing some much needed repairs to the training room, and that my pay would go up so that it would be closer to what I should be making for the job that I do. I come back to find that none of the promises have been denied (but they didn't take my assistant), and I actually lost a sizable chunk of my budget that I use to bring in extra help. Needless to say, there was some frustration and disappointment when I was told this news.
Now, old-Rachel would have freaked out. I would have been stressed; I would have gotten really, really angry; I would have panicked; I would have been bitter; I would have bottomed out. But, I'm not old-Rachel any more. I'm new-Rachel. So, while there was frustration, disappointment, and feeling a little overwhelmed, I was alright with it all. Because I know that my God is a God who is bigger than a university. My God has carried me through life up until this very moment and I know He won't drop me now. He has made it very clear that I'm supposed to stay where I am for right now, so I know that He will make sure I have all I need to do the job well. I just need to keep returning to Him, trusting in what Christ did on the cross, and not try and do it on my own strength. My strength will fail, as I have seen it do before. Sure, things may work out for a bit, but at the end of the day, I will go down in a spectacular, fiery crash. While God sometimes uses flames to refine me, they are meant for good, not evil destruction.
I would appreciate prayers, though. There has been a lot of coach turnover this past year, and I am one of the few staff members remaining this year. It's going to be a tough adjustment year for everyone, and I pray that I can shine my light and point everyone toward the Anchor that keeps me steady and grounded.
Anyway, I've had some trouble deciding on the best way to share all that God has done. I've processed through a lot of it, but since this is the internet, I prayed about what exactly I will share and how much. After much journaling and prayer, I've decided to lead off the post-trip posts with the change that happened to me while in Leuven.
I can say with 100% certainty that I am not the same Rachel that I was four-ish weeks ago. I don't know exactly when the change occurred, or how, I just know that it happened. I feel a lightness, a joy, a childlike approach to life, and a freedom that I didn't feel prior to the trip. I feel like, for the first time, I am resting - truly resting - in the peace of God that comes when you really do trust Him.
I'll use a real-world example to show the change that has happened inside of me. The university that I work for is expanding the number of athletes from 160 to 200. Currently, I am the only certified athletic trainer for our athletic department and our training room is straining to accommodate all of our current athletes. When I left for Belgium, I was told that we would be adding some storage, rearranging the layout of the training room, have a job post up for a new assistant athletic trainer so I could start sifting through resumes while I was overseas, doing some much needed repairs to the training room, and that my pay would go up so that it would be closer to what I should be making for the job that I do. I come back to find that none of the promises have been denied (but they didn't take my assistant), and I actually lost a sizable chunk of my budget that I use to bring in extra help. Needless to say, there was some frustration and disappointment when I was told this news.
Now, old-Rachel would have freaked out. I would have been stressed; I would have gotten really, really angry; I would have panicked; I would have been bitter; I would have bottomed out. But, I'm not old-Rachel any more. I'm new-Rachel. So, while there was frustration, disappointment, and feeling a little overwhelmed, I was alright with it all. Because I know that my God is a God who is bigger than a university. My God has carried me through life up until this very moment and I know He won't drop me now. He has made it very clear that I'm supposed to stay where I am for right now, so I know that He will make sure I have all I need to do the job well. I just need to keep returning to Him, trusting in what Christ did on the cross, and not try and do it on my own strength. My strength will fail, as I have seen it do before. Sure, things may work out for a bit, but at the end of the day, I will go down in a spectacular, fiery crash. While God sometimes uses flames to refine me, they are meant for good, not evil destruction.
I would appreciate prayers, though. There has been a lot of coach turnover this past year, and I am one of the few staff members remaining this year. It's going to be a tough adjustment year for everyone, and I pray that I can shine my light and point everyone toward the Anchor that keeps me steady and grounded.
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ReplyDeletedo i get ten points!?! Cuz you know I know. My family made Messy Pierre's tonight... although we had to substitute mystery belgian items for lame american ones :) still delicious!
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